I think the Onion has my number...

[dickens]

My Horoscope for the week:

The streets will run red with the blood of the innocent and the pure this week—so relax, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Comments

[hypatia-j.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can (honestly!) see how that would be comforting.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I am not at all surprised that you get it.