I think the Onion has my number...

[dickens]

My Horoscope for the week:

The streets will run red with the blood of the innocent and the pure this week—so relax, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Comments

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

My favorite Onion horoscope was, "Your week will be a blood-soaked debacle. Resolve to enjoy yourself anyway."

That's gotten me through a lot of weeks, actually.

[hypatia-j.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can (honestly!) see how that would be comforting.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I am not at all surprised that you get it.

[laffingbuddha.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of Nero fiddling while Rome burned.